Shopping???

Tired of constantly being broke, and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a





young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large





insurance policy on his wife (with himself as the beneficiary), and





arranging to have her killed.








A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious, underworld








figure, who went by the name of "Artie." Artie explained to the





husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was 5,000








quid.











The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he





wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's








insurance money.











Artie insisted on being paid SOMETHING up front. The man opened up








his wallet, displaying the single pound coin that rested inside. Artie





sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the quid as





down payment for the dirty deed.











A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local ASDA.





There, he surprised her in the produce department, and proceeded to





strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman





drew her last breath, and slumped to the floor, the manager of the











produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the scene. Unwilling











to leave any witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the











produce manager as well.











Unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by hidden





cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately





called the police.











Artie was caught and arrested before he could leave the store. Under





intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the sordid





plan, including his financial arrangements with the hapless husband.











And that is why, the next day in the newspaper, the headline


declared:

















(It's a beauty)























(It's a beauty honest)























"ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A POUND AT ASDA."

Shopping???
I wish I could give you more than one star for that!!





ROFL!
Reply:I am on my headset that translates what I say, and I couldn't help but laughing down the microphone. It had a spasm and closed windows, I just thought that was one of the funniest jokes, I have heard in ages! Well done brilliant amazing!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha :-)
Reply:Two for the price of one? What madness took place. He killed two for one pound, and still didn't get paid the full amount in the first place. Artie Chokes two in the vegetable department.lol
Reply:Ha Ha Ha...I'm in work an its really quiet at the mo, but ure joke just made me laugh so hard an loud, every1 is lookin at me like i'm weird





You can have a star
Reply:LOL!!!


good one!


reeeeli was a beauty! hahaha!
Reply:that was hilarious have another star
Reply:A STAR FOR AN ABSOLUTE CRACKER..
Reply:that is hilarious! i always wonder where people get these jokes.
Reply:Well funny,Have a star.
Reply:haha i lke this 1 :)
Reply:good one.
Reply:Brilliant, best one I've heard for a long time.
Reply:haha i wasn't expecting that have a star